I died today

I guess.. I didn't made him feel right nor tight about everything.

 And only at this page would I ever be doing that.

4th in july

For almost ninety years I’ve walked among my kind, and yours… all the time thinking I was complete in  myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren't alive yet.

Twilight, Chapter 14, p.304

Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?

Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 1, p.34

The outside world holds no interest for me without you.

Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 2, p.49

Do you ever think that your life might be easier if you weren’t in love with me?

Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 10, p.230

If I answer your question, will you then explain your question?

Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 12, p.273

For this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me? It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you. Just you.

Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 20, p.435

You’re about to make my life harder than it needs to be,

Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 21, p.464

We’re doing this your way. Because my way doesn’t work. I call you stubborn, but look at what I’ve done. I’ve clung with such idiotic obstinacy to my idea of what’s best for you, though it’s only hurt you. Hurt you so deeply, time and time again. I don’t trust myself anymore. You can have happiness your way. My way is always wrong.

Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.617

piece of cake

I don't really know how much longer.
But two things for sure : One is that I am enjoying every moment of it
And that second everyday I get to check myself if I can still manage standing up even after this huge fall.

15 WEIRD THINGS
1. I still have butterflies in my stomach whenever I get his message that he's on his way.
2. I still get sweaty hands whenever he touches me or stares at me.
3. I wanted to melt on my place whenever he stares at me.
4. I wanted to hold him tight whenever I get to see him again.
5. I catch my breath in kissing him.
5. My heart skip a beat.
6. I think of him a lot. I mean a loooooooooot.
7. A day without him often feels different.
8. We have same foot size.
9. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile. Even just on messages.
10. He imitates me. [:(]
11. He just makes me fall for him every turning back times.
12. I sort of learned WAITING and UNDERSTANDING. (damn...)
13. Friday the 13th makes me lucky.
14. I am seriously waiting for the ending.
15. This is SO not me.

Sometimes I wanted to bump my head, for being one hell of a stupid.
Love is like drugs. You get addicted. You get dragged over and over unto it.
It will never leave you sleeping, never hold you back. You cling so much to it, when in fact it don't do the same thing.
It will leave you stagnant for quite some time. Keeping you high and happy.
And most of all, it will not let you hold yourself at things and thoughts you do.

turning page

     

I just happened to find this last friday the 13th of this month. It's so interesting. isn't it? How we connect? with the people who knows us. Plus the picture ha. (laughs) Facebook make it so interesting.

It was something magical. Suddenly, I just wanted to feel him. I decided to never be prepared. To indulge in the sweet sensation of pure and absolute happiness. I wanted to see his smile, the curl of his lip. I wanted to tell the world that running unto him was definite. That life would be easy. That everything seems in place now. I surrender with my heart applause in solitude and buoyancy. It was like a perfect hole, waiting for me to fit in. It was significant. Comforting. It felt like a thousand years, thousand questions that suddenly was just a single word. It was a long search of ups and downs. Relationships now are rare. Often taken for granted and malice. I was just so blessed I found someone different, fragile and worthy.

 I love a lot of reasons of loving and falling for someone as incredible as you.

 
 I love the way we met. I love how the story started and how it keeps moving.

 
I love our dates, our movies and rides together.
 

 I love our cheesy lines. I love our late chat conversations.

 I love you for being so gentle. I love how you love and take care of the people you love.

Loving you even for just some time, proves me that life is not always a struggle, that I can build rainbows and dreams in one.

I simply love you. I love you for being true to yourself. I love your endless passion and how you fight for it. I love to be around you

I love your voice. I love your laugh, I love how you make me feel special.

Missing can be difficult. It can even numb you, but knowing it's for someone worthy, risking and holding on would be easy.

 I don't wanna miss you anymore. But I think, even if we get to be together often, I will still miss you.

 I love every single thing in you.

I know it will be a long way to run, and keeping up the pace would be difficult at times,
but I know trust and love will keep us going.

 I miss you. I miss you like everyday..

Love is a word only insane people call sane. I believe I am sane with you
simply because I'm in love with you.

Thank you for being you. Thank you for caring, for loving, for time and effort.
Thanks for the strength, for pushing me and for never giving up on me.

Thank you for existing. for being here for me, whenever, wherever.

go on, hang on

The silly ways

It was during this month when everything got a "little" serious.
The days went crazy, ill-minded and impulsive.
It was during this lucky month that everything else changed.

Legends:
♥ - first time
☆ - level of misunderstanding


Let's discuss:
(HAHHAHAHA.)


Feb 13 :  We were suppose to have lunch together this day, but then I happen to realize a lot of things circling the word "us". That lead me to skip the morning part of my work and eventually lead me to skip the whole day just thinking. I didn't text him much during the morning and not a single text during the after, at night time I messaged him like nothing happened. He replied that made him sound a little pissed off so I called him to actually know how he sounds like when pissed off. I laughed so much while hearing it because I was happy. Happy that he cares. So much. But then during the conversation he told me "kelan ka alis? (I said monday) sana mapaaga na lang para di na mo na ko maiinis ng ganito", that was like "WHOA!!" to me. And then we just text each other and this day was actually the first time he said he love me in text even if he was mad at me.

Feb 14 : We ruined are usual Vday-not-celebrating year. I don't know what changed his mind, but we surely went out this day. Even twice this day. Lunch out until almost past 1pm and then night time. It was a heart to heart talk night in front of the ice. It was the first time. It was really unusual. We faced the facts and stop concluding. I felt the spark by the way. Then ending the night with a seal and the 3 words from him. It was the first time in person. It's been a month and a day since the last, it was quick, but I just wanted to feel it on my own for a minute or two when we parted. It felt good. It felt so real. It was really one of a Heart's day.

Feb 16 : The unending and unstoppable happiness I was.

Feb 17 : The epic kiss before the elevators open. Great!

T-U-E-S-D-A-T-E

It was just going to be a normal Tuesday when out of nowhere he asked me out.

A kinda boring movie yet happened to be extra special because of him.
We played the no-talking game because of his sore throat and voiceless words.
Then the toss coin game for which movie and which fast food to eat on.
Then after the movie we had the normal chit chatting at the back of the mall.
Damn my day was complete.

   So pretty.

Serenade

              "Mundo'y ating iwanan, maari lang sana, dto nlng tau.. "

                      

Love is patient and kind. 
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. 
It does not demand its own way. 
It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance ... love will last forever!

We should have been here early, so that he could have appreciate this view.

Lock the Holmes

No words can fulfill every energy, electricity and motions in my body and mind at this day.

Things were completely ENORMOUS here.

It was the usual birthday-celebration treat for us both.

It was his second friendly Birthday celebration year with me.

I told myself to give it a try, anyway it was a deal movie for this year, and besides it was his BIRTHDAY.

I told myself to take things easy, to manage my thoughts well and get on my feet fairly.

I told myself to hold back any emotional outbreak that may lead to the past.

And lastly, I told myself that I will do this just because I will be leaving soon.

And that things will never be complicated on his life anymore.

At the end of the day, I was wrong.
I was completely compelled and may be drunk-ed by my mere illusions.
I was again, mesmerize of his being and his other side.
Leading my blood and veins to explode.
And holding back went difficult, unsustainable.
I just convince myself that "just this night, just this night".
And tomorrow will mean usual and common again.

The next day, I wake up realizing I was completely bound in recognizing my torn-ed feelings over him again.